Sacred Relationships – Balance of Feminine and Masculine

Sacred Relationships – Balance of Feminine and Masculine

When we think of femininity or masculinity we tend to look outside ourselves as male or female gender difference. However what I would like to do is explore from an internal perspective our own femininity and masculinity.  In order to understand more about sacred relationships.  So whilst you read this article and exploration I would like you to think from an androgynous place, where you are neither male nor female, but yet have aspects of both.


Was there ever a time in history where there were actual gender equality, and if so why does it influence our exploration of sacred relationships?

The first part of the answer is simple, archaeologists are uncovering in many places in ancient civilisations where there has been gender equality.  In fact there are studies around prehistoric and indigenous communities to suggest that men and women had and have equality, although they may have differing roles.  This means both genders having equal power within the community.  Ancient civilisation such as the Sumer and Anatolian cultures suggest that women had a very equal role in society and were not limited to any specific role.

The second part of the answer regarding, why does equality influence our exploration of sacred relationships? It is only by understanding how we have had our view distorted throughout history around equality of the sexes, can we then accept that we can relearn a new way.  Whether we are in a heterosexual, or same gender relationship does not change the perspective that we have within the feminine and masculine principles. The influences that we carry in our psyches and collective consciousness throughout cultures and religions around our view of the masculine and feminine has affected us all on a deeper level.  The first step towards having a relationship with another is to be able to connect with the feminine and masculine within ourselves.Ying and Yang

Feminine Principle

The Feminine principle can be described through many names Yin, Goddess, Mother, Mystery, Shakti are just a few.  Throughout cultures and civilisations the feminine has been portrayed and depicted in many forms.  Mother Mary, Kuan Yin Bodhisattvas, Venus, Mary Magdalene, Isis, Inanna, Cerridwen, Yemaya, Lakshmi to name a few.

The feminine or Yin principles are; Union 4

  • Earth
  • Moon
  • Water
  • Stillness
  • Life Force, Shakti
  • Flow
  • Cool
  • Passive
  • Inward and Deep
  • Contracting
  • Dark and Night
  • Descending
  • Slow
  • Fullness
  • Sensual
  • Body
  • Being
  • Receptive
  • Nurturing
  • Chaos and Spontaneity
  • Subtle
  • Surrender
  • Sustains
  • Radiant
  • Cooperative
  • Emotional
  • Expressive
  • Colourful
  • Inviting
  • Social
  • Communing with nature
  • Thrives on praise
  • Process orientated

Masculine Principle

The masculine principle over our last period of history has been what has been valued predominately over the feminine.  The masculine depicted and described throughout history as Yang, God, Zeus, Apollo, Jesus, Green Man, Logos, Shiva, Buddha, Ra, Amon, and many more.

The masculine or Yang principles are;Union 5

  • Heaven
  • Sun
  • Fire
  • Movement
  • Consciousness, Shiva
  • Form
  • Warm
  • Active
  • Outward and Surface
  • Expanding
  • Light and Day
  • Ascending
  • Fast
  • Emptiness
  • Mental
  • Mind
  • Nothing
  • Purpose
  • Protective
  • Order and Focus
  • Direct
  • Control
  • Initiates
  • Integrity
  • Competitive
  • Rational
  • Witness
  • Simple
  • Directing
  • Solitude
  • Conquering nature
  • Thrives on Challenge
  • Goal orientated

It is essential not too get too caught up in the male and female form and physical bodies.  Instead to look at all men and women to be both masculine and feminine, and balance those energies, qualities and skills within ourselves.  It is through this balance that we will gain clarity and enlightenment within ourselves and this will then filter out into all our relationships.  What is inner will then reflect on the outer and this is the beginning point of where sacred relationships with others is formed.


If you can get a piece of paper and fold in half vertically and name one side masculine and the other side feminine.  Then from the list of masculine and feminine attributes name and list which ones you have.  If you can identify where there is an imbalance or challenge.  Then consciously look to develop and nurture those parts of you that need expanding. There are so many ways in which we can learn to enhance both feminine and masculine attributes within ourselves.



Balance is the way to Enlightenment and Oneness, where there is no division between masculinity and femininity and where we experience the Sacred Union of Divinity.  It is the place where our feminine and masculine meet within ourselves.  Symbolised n many cultures as the Sacred Marriage and wholeness.

Once we experience this oneness we can reflect this into all our relationships consciously with awareness. Then in turn our world will be transformed through this balance as we act on our compassion.  We will recognise that neither masculine nor feminine is more important than the other but a reflection of each other, in a Dance of Unity.Union 3

The Dance of Yin and Yang

Hold your male side with your female side

Hold your bright side with your dull side

Hold your high side with your low side

Then you will be able to hold the whole World

When opposing forces unite within

There comes a power

Abundant in its giving

And unerring in its effect.

Lao Tze Tao Te Ching ( Tao of Virtue )


 Layla  ©

If you would like to explore your masculine and feminine self with more depth or need help to nurture and develop balance within  the relationship with yourself and in turn with others. Contact me Layla at and book a session. First session is free for consultation I work via skype or in person.

Art from various unknown artists and Moira Gil






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